When I speak with clients about the collaborative process, one of the most frequent questions that comes up is why there should be a neutral mental health professional involved.   The concern is often one of cost, which is understandable and, in the beginning, I found myself struggling to provide an explanation that identified the benefits and pitfalls of utilizing the process without the “neutrals.”  As I discussed the collaborative process with several clients and have participated in several cases with and without the mental health professionals, I have come to realize how much of a vital role the mental health professional plays in the process and how badly it can go without one.

The Central Florida Collaborative Group includes this description of the collaborative process on the website:  “The collaborative process recognizes that although you may be facing a divorce, separation, or other family issue, relationships and obligations continue, especially if children are involved.  This process helps all family members move forward in a positive and respectful way; minimizes the pain of an emotional and difficult transition; and teaches conflict resolution skills and strategies for the future.”

The key difference, I believe, between collaborative law and proceeding with a divorce or modification under the more “traditional” litigation model is the idea of looking forward.  Instead of looking to simply win the case or trial (under the traditional litigation model), each of the professionals involved in the collaborative process focus on the relationships within the family, past, present, and future.   However, there are more relationships at the table that just within the family going through the divorce.  There are dynamics between the professionals as well and the agendas/bias that each carry.  Despite all of the training and discussions and intentions of the attorneys, we are still at that table as an advocate for our client in some form or another.

Yet, the only professional at the table who is trained to assess the relational pitfalls, assist with conflict resolution, and propose proactive solutions for the future relationship issues is the mental health professional.   That individual is not representing any side, is not present to do any therapy, and is tasked with looking at each person at the table to ensure that everyone is helping, not hindering the process.  The mental health professional is uniquely qualified to look each person in the eye and speak the truth that needs to be said, even if the one on the receiving end is one of the attorneys.

Within the collaborative process, I have seen some truly significant shifts happen.  I have learned a great deal about myself as a person and as an advocate.  Sometimes, it was necessary for the attorneys to be quiet and let the parties communicate about what should happen, regardless of the legal “rights” or responsibilities.  That could never have occurred without the mental health professional and, each time, the family was better off in the long run.

Consider having a mental health professional involved in your collaborative process–we can’t promise that you’ll be better off, but I believe the possibilities are significant!  If you have questions or thoughts about this or any other blogs I’ve posted, don’t hesitate to send me an email at amj@markslawfla.com

Abigail